For some reason, the song just randomly appeared in my head and I just start singing whatever lyrics I could remember from the song. While singing the song, it hit my heart. I haven’t cried over you in so long…so long that it made me believe that I was at peace with your death but in actuality, I’m still hurt that you are gone. Life has changed a lot since you left, so many bads and not many goods to tell you. I hope I am making you proud up there Mama, I’m trying my hardest here to please you. I just wish you were here to see my achievements. I forgot to tell you that I made honor roll this past quarter, I finally passed my first biology test with a B, and that every game so far was all for you. Although we haven’t won every game, the games I did play and try my hardest, they were all for you.
I miss you a lot and I wish I could see you again just one more time! But I know that if I were to see you again, it will be like the one dream I had after you left, where I saw you downstairs and I ran to you and hugged you for the longest of time and didn’t want to let go. I remember how hard it was to tell others about that dream because that dream felt so real, like it wasn’t a dream. It was also hard to tell because I was still fragile and basically talking or thinking about you hurt every inch in my body.
Mama, I am glad to say today that I am not as heartbroken as I was before about losing you. Realizing summer is near, I realize that your one year anniversary is coming up as well. I remember your last days and that last day, the Saturday, I got to spend with you is a day I will ALWAYS regret. But I know God had his plan and that it was your time to join him in heaven as well as with your other loved ones. I’m still heartbroken but I am slowly coming to peace about your death.
I love you Mama and I miss you, until we meet again <3